Children, pay attention!

I think I say that about thirty times a day. That's impressive seeing how I only teach three classes a day...
Two weeks until the writing test, I keep telling them, and they keep telling me to stop rubbing it in their faces. I don't think they realize that if they fail, they not only screw themselves over, but screw me over as well. I can just picture the English department meeting next year where Ruth gives us the break down of the results and gives us highlighting to brightly illuminate the fact that we are failures as teachers and can't get 70+% of our kids to write a coherent five-paragraph essay. My kids have got the five paragraph part down but not the coherent part. I should really share some excerpts with you, but I think that would probably be in bad taste to publicly, and with written proof for the world to see, to make fun of the young minds in my care. Really though, that's slightly over stating my job considering that I feel like a zoo keeper/jail warden about 80% of the day. In Fairfax, that's a C+ amount of the day!
Is it wrong that I get insanely jealous when other women talk to my boyfriend? I think it's like the Celeste-UMD-hug incident which Kayla remembers so fondly because I think I literally lost control of my body and severely strangled Ben while watching a poorly written and performed play. I know my boyfriend is great; I like him, but really, I don't think women are out to steal him. I mean, he is messy, and lazy, and plays video games all day instead of putting away dishes and didn't grade my papers for me. See, he's no catch, so stay away from him, bitches! That includes you, Group Girlfriend! Ben's humor is the only thing that makes him bearable and I don't like it when other women appreciate that about him. His laughter is mine, all mine!
Okay, I think it's time to stop being psycho and go to sleep. Another day, another class' essays left ungraded. I now have greater respect for my English teachers and blame my college professors much less for taking weeks to get our papers back to us. After Thursday of this week I will have three sets of essays to grade for five classes. Good thing my kids are lazy and haven't turned in many of them! Yay for laziness!
My new quest: find cheap, original art to hang out in the apartment. It's times likes these that make me wish I had a friend in school who was an art major who made stuff that I like. Ben and I've been looking on eBay to find cheap, original art. I've found quite a few things that I like, but eBay is being broken and not sending either Ben or I our confirmation numbers so that we can register and bid on things. It makes it a tad difficult to purchase things on eBay when they won't give you the necessary tools to accomplish it.