Listening In

Things Ben’s Discussing with his Grandma

1. Our wedding. The pros and cons of a cruise wedding versus Newton White. The patio and atrium.

2. His nickname for the caterer I like.

3. Why he doesn’t want to have children now and how waiting until we’re thirty until we have children will save us a lot of money.

4. That I want to have beach wedding … (No, I’ll have a wedding in a botanical garden or other lovely place like that, but I don’t want to get married on a ship in a Baltimore harbor. I mean, really, I’d just rather get married in a cesspool. Oh wait, that’s what most of Baltimore is.)

5. Apparently someone in his family is having a kid. I think they’re young. Ben, Bart, Nick, and Drew are the young ones – mostly everyone else has kids or is old enough to have kids without comment to their youthfulness.

6. He’s trying to get his relatives to name their child either Benjamin, or, the ever popular Benjamina. Well, his grandma’s name is Alfreda and his aunt was Freda, so it might not be totally impossible.

7. Unrelated but Al Pachino said, “Get out of my face you lactose-intolerant f***.” This would be a good thing to say if you ever ran into Jerry Seinfeld and he was really pissing you off.

8. I was wrong, it’s not a young person having a baby, just a person that I don’t think most people expected to have a baby.